Outsource your instinctual need for nutrients with today's Groupon for fine cuisine at The Fresh Diet, a daily gourmet delivery service. The Fresh Diet's dishes are portioned and balanced to maximize your energy and help you achieve or maintain a healthy weight. For $29, you'll get one day of the Fresh Diet's premium choice program, which includes breakfast, lunch, dinner, and two snacks, delivered to your doorstep (a $60 value).

With the premium choice program, you can log on to your Fresh Diet account and choose from a variety of menu items, manage your menu, and specify as many dislikes as you like to keep unwanted items such as Matchbox cars out of your diet. Purchase multiple Groupons to keep the food fairy delivering freshly prepared (never frozen) foods to your doorstep overnight. You'll also get an additional 20% off either the seven-day premium program or the 31-day premium program on your next purchase.

The Fresh Diet takes all the math, effort, and cardboard aftertaste out of dieting. Each dish contains a balance of 30% protein, 40% carbs, and 30% good fat, a regimen scientifically calibrated to target the inflammation of fat cells. You'll meet your health goals on a molecular level, resulting in newfound energy that radiates beyond your macro-body level and into the atmosphere, where philosophers sleep. Without wasting time driving to the grocery store, wading through the aisles, and flambéing dinner each night, you can get started on your critical investigation of pickleball ethics or build a floating island out of sunshine.

In addition to calibrating your cronosphere, you'll enjoy the indulgent tastes of such dishes as filet mignon with roasted sweet potatoes, salmon and avocado salad, Canadian bacon and scrambled eggs, meatloaf, a caramelized pear stuffed with gorgonzola and pecans, and white-chocolate-covered strawberries. Meals are prepared by Fresh Diet chefs fresh daily. Between 7 p.m. and 5 a.m., the meals will be delivered in a reusable cooler with ice packs that keep food fresh. Check out the Fresh Diet's website for sample menus and answers to FAQs.

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Binder Finder

What other folder designs have become popular in recent years?

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The body is indeed a temple, and it demands elaborate physical rituals, spiritual diligence, and constant sacrifices of Cinnamon Toast Crunch to remain appeased. Today's Groupon to Mindful Movement Studio covers most of your bodily bases. Choose between the following two options:

• For $49, you get three Pilates Equipment I classes (a $120 value), plus 15% off a 10- or 20-session package purchased by the last session. All three classes must be used within a month of the first class.
• For $30, you get a 60-minute private introductory Pilates session (a $65 value)

Much like blasting Grandma with a phaser set to “hug,” Pilates Equipment I augments a popular physical activity with futurefied technology. By mixing classic Pilates exercises with the spacious studio’s seven Allegro Reformers (with attached towers) and seven Peak Pilates Split Pedal Chairs, Master Trainer Miriam Resnick and her crew will introduce newcomers to the elaborate online fantasy world of Pilates, while helping oldcomers master more controlled and precise movements. Classes are 60 minutes in duration and tend to be small in size, ensuring participants are found, not lost, in the small crowd. Check the class schedule before making an appointment for your first session.

If you don’t want a machine coming between you and your instructor, a 60-minute private Pilates session will help fine-tune each posture using a constant feedback loop from an experienced trainer. With a dozen or so trained instructors, top-tier Pilates equipment, and 6,000 square feet of studio space, Mindful Movement will give your body the kick-start it hasn't had since the time it tipped too far back on a kitchen stool. Due to Mindful Movement’s one-on-one focus, please call ahead to schedule a spot.

Must be 18 years or older. Sessions are good only for customers who do not already have an active Pilates package.

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Limber Body, Limber Mind

Who wouldn't offer Eddie Murphy a free checking account?

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During the Victorian era, cookies were known as "sweet biscuits" and were eaten only by paupers, who were forced to substitute rich, hearty tallow with inexpensive sugar. Relish this sweet substitution with today's Groupon: for $22, you get a 24-cookie gift box (a $50 value) from Insomnia Cookies, a Manhattan-based cookie-delivery service. Shipping is included in the value of today's deal.

Insomnia Cookies began as a project to feed fresh-baked cookies to hungry college students who spend the wee hours studying, partying, or studying parties for an anthropology course. Cookie gift boxes can be shipped nationwide and store their baked bounty in a chocolate-brown box topped with a satin ribbon. Inside, your mother, father, or long-lost identical twin will discover 24 deliciously soft cookies in an assortment of signature flavors, which include chocolate chunk, snickerdoodle, and white-chocolate macadamia, to name just a few. Include a message in the complimentary greeting card, or leave it blank as a haunting memento to the delicious flavors words cannot express.

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The Nightmare of Insomnia

My grandpa’s descriptions of classical music are actually really compelling.

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To ensure freshness, arrogant scientists recommend storing nuts in abandoned tree stumps, the jowls of soft-toothed bears, or empty cassette cases. Ignore illegitimate science advice with today's Groupon: for $10, you get $25 worth of nuts, dried fruit, and more from Nutty Guys. Your order can be placed online or by phone and must be redeemed in one transaction. Shipping is not included with this deal.

Nutty Guys sports a massive selection of nuts, dried fruit, candied delights, organic goodies, and more. Legume fundamentalists will raise fists in solidarity at the chance to buy both raw peanuts and raw Spanish peanuts (each starting at $3.33/8 oz.), while nut progressives can try punishingly powerful wasabi peanuts ($3.01/8 oz.). Fuel snack times with mango cubes ($3.75) and apple-juice-sweetened blueberries ($6.38/8 oz.), or sweeten a stash with chocolate-covered pretzels ($3.78/8 oz.), cinnamon-toffee almonds ($4.73/8 oz.), or cinnamon gummy bears ($3.28/8 oz.).

First meeting as roommates at Brigham Young University, the titular Nutty Guys began their ascent to nut domination—supplying major chains such as Smith's and Albertsons—by making door-to-door sales. Today, Nutty Guys pulverizes honey-roasted peanuts ($3.53/8 oz.) into spreadable butters; arranges the classic deluxe mixed nuts ($4.62/8 oz.) with pecans, Brazil nuts, almonds, cashews, and macadamias; and sates cereal enthusiasts with granolas.

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You're Nuts

Please stop, Al Gore.

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Though you can enjoy being a girl by frequently belting out ebullient show tunes, you'll find that the pit orchestra is reluctant to follow you into the office. Flaunt your femininity without requiring an understudy thanks to today's Groupon: for $22, you get $50 worth of lingerie, sleepwear, bath and body products, and more at PillowTalk, a femininity-focused boutique in the heart of Carmel's Arts & Design District. This Groupon is valid for sale items, but not with other promotions or offers.

A lovely stock of couture lingerie, organic skincare products, luxurious home fragrances, and handcrafted jewelry is snuggled up in PillowTalk's cozy interior, along with a friendly, knowledgeable staff. The boutique's pride-and-joy products are bras ($30+), panties ($8+), and PJs ($30+) sourced from high-end American and European designers including Betsey Johnson, Oscar de la Renta, Eberjey, Cosabella, René Rofé, Montelle Intimates, and Blush. Whether you're looking to revamp a wardrobe of vintage skivvies or just shopping with a special android in mind, PillowTalk's professional personnel will help you locate the proper loot to suit your needs. Size specialists are on-site daily to provide complimentary fittings, ensuring that no one leaves with bulges, droops, pinches, or event horizons in any strange places.

For those planning romantic at-home date nights, PillowTalk's selection of sensual scented goodies is just the ticket to covering up years of boiled cabbage smells. Hand-poured 100% soy-wax Mood candles come in a variety of fun olfactory flavors to help set the tone, whether you're feeling adventurous (a blend of orange, ginger, cinnamon, and balsam), girly (fresh fruits and florals), outdoorsy (juniper, spearmint, geranium, amber, and lavender), or like a something that sort of rhymes with Quidditch. Natural soaps, lotions, scrubs, and oils from high-end brands such as Bubalina and highly praised local producers such as Ambre Blends ($14–$100) make showers feel like spa escapes and loofahs feel like finding a $200 bill in the shower.

This Groupon is not valid for gift cards.

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Unmentionables

Which famous basketball player will appear if you say his name three times?

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The human mouth, which maintains a near-boiling temperature, needs to be constantly cooled by liquid-nitrogen pills or a jaw-mounted mouth fan. Take a more delicious route to cooling your maw with today's Groupon: for $3, you get $6 worth of custard and more at Ritter's Frozen Custard's locations on North Shadeland Avenue in Indy and Brooks School Road in Fishers.

The Ritter's menu features a cast of six rotating daily custard flavors, including everything from fruit-based favorites such as cherry cordial and fresh banana to candy-inspired creations such as caramel Snickers swirl. Order a cone of the flavor du jour ($2.39 and up), or opt for a signature Glacier ($3.29 and up)—Ritter's frozen custard integrated with your topping of choice and served upside down to alter your already delicate perception of reality and emphasize the cream's graceful, thick aspect. If a bountiful list of toppings dizzies your decision-making nodule, submit your fate to the friendly ice-cream slingers and opt for a pre-designed signature sundae ($4.19) such as the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup–filled, whipped-cream-topped Peanut Butter Mountain, which has long kept roguish bands of dessert invaders at bay by sticking to the roofs of their mouths.

Squealing sweet teeth that demand satisfaction while slapping your tongue with tiny tooth gloves will find ample relief within Ritter's friendly confines. All of Ritter's creamy confections are churned on-site daily and contain only the highest-quality dairy products, as well as a touch of pasteurized egg yolk for maximum richness. The frozen custard is served six degrees warmer than traditional ice cream, which results in a higher level of palatability and softness than the typical frost-prone ice-cream treat.

Groupon Says

Cool It!

If only there were a place I could keep my shaving cream and my dinosaur DNA…

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While chocolate truffles and biologically inaccurate heart shapes are modern symbols of adoration, neither compare to a beaded adornment you make with your own three hands. Learn how to turn your love into something wearable with today's Groupon: for $19, you get two beading classes—a beginners' beading class and a primer working class—at Beads Amoré (a $45 value). Both classes meet a few times a month at various times in the morning, afternoon, and evening, so you can bead on your own schedule.

Beads Amoré inspires custom creations of elegant and eloquent design with more than 7,000 varieties of beads, strands, semi-precious stones, and more, all with the potential to become cursed heirlooms in any household for generations to come. Begin your education with a beginning bead-jewelry class that supplies you with beads and wires before teaching you how to bring them together into jewelry. By the end of your two-hour session, you’ll have completed construction on a necklace and a pair of earrings that will accentuate your neck and any pair of ears, no matter how Spocklike or full of gnashing teeth.

Once your beading appetite has been thoroughly whetted, follow your beginners' lesson with a two-hour primer class, which will teach you the art of wire working and how to use tools, Dwarven-style, to forge and implement your own bracelets, anklets, earrings, and more. Since this class does not supply you with beads and materials, it is recommended that you come a half-hour early to select your own beads and supplies. To further enhance the romance, buy an extra Groupon and bring the object of your ardor along. Call ahead to schedule your classes; space is limited.

Supplies for the primer wire-working class are not included with today’s Groupon. Cancellations require at least 72 hours' notice, or the Groupon is forfeited. This Groupon is non-transferrable.

Groupon Says

A Gift from the Heart

Is that scarecrow magically coming to life, or is it just bursting with vermin?

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If the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, then disheveled hair provides the least efficient route for climbing monkeys to reach the bananas in your fruit hat. Today's Groupon tames tresses for easy scaling: for $89, you get a Brazilian blowout (a $250 value) at Style Salon, located on East 64th Street.

Style Salon provides a chic and friendly environment for partaking in hair-taming services. Brazilian blowouts are effective for any kind of hair and can restore elasticity and softness to even the most stressed-out strands. After a skilled stylist performs the treatment, a waterfall of must-be-touched feminine allure will cascade into place where a wrathful head octopus once suction-cupped stray scissors and cotton candy. With your new, pulchritudinous mane, you'll be able to put silky lioness manes to shame at the zoo, or become an instant celebrity for hosting the first nesting pair of endangered Beauty Eagles, which only rear their young in the most gorgeous of ’dos. With personal attention and a creative touch, one of Style Salon's staff will channel this incredible transformation in the most pleasant possible manner.

Style Salon achieves a balance between pampering each client's individual needs and making the space business-friendly for the time-crunched, working woman, who is forced to juggle responsibilities such as forging memos from the purest mithril and taking care of child robots. Sip a glass of wine, check your email, and banish frizzy frays to linearly averse dimensions in the relaxed yet modern setting, which features warm-hued walls and glossy wood floors for a cozy, but chic, effect.

Valid for new Brazilian blowout clients only.

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Brazilian Beauty

Does a Brazilian beauty treatment involve traveling to Brazil? Because I lost my passport.

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A plane ticket to Ireland is prohibitively expensive, and the flight attendant won’t let you drink, sing, or knit her dog an Aran sweater. Fast forward to the fun part of visiting Ireland with today's deal: for $20, you get two weekend passes for Indy's Irish Fest (a $48 value) on September 17–19 in Military Park in downtown Indianapolis. After printing your Groupon, present it to the volunteer tent to receive your weekend passes.

The 15th annual Indy's Irish Fest will celebrate Celtic culture with a plethora of tasty foods, the toe-tapping sounds of Irish music and dance, and a full lineup of activities for adults and kids alike. The festival's schedule of events is brimming with Isle-inspired activities, while the festival's cultural area educates visitors on Irish and Irish-American customs, such as "getting Joyced," in which a friend is shown a copy of Ulyssses at a party, and is then obligated to read the entire thing out loud.

For sports, the annual Kilted Mile race arrives on Sunday at 2 p.m., as wool-covered knees run down New York Street while bagpipes provide festive background music. Several Irish-related musical acts will also supply traditional and contemporary sounds, like progressive Celtic rockers Off Kilter and the dance-and-fiddle collective Celtic Spring. Prepare for upcoming recitals with step dance instruction Friday at 8:15 p.m., and move your gams as quickly as a cheetah in two pairs of sensible hard shoes.

A number of local Irish restaurants will set up culinary bases over the weekend, including the Claddagh Irish Pub and Murphy's Steakhouse, while of-age guests can enjoy Guinness, Smithwick's, or Killian's. Peruse the festival's bustling markets for Irish tweed hats and authentic coats of arms, or get inked with an airbrush Celtic tattoo from Fireball Designs. Every inch of Irish culture will be available to explore, from sports to music to the wearing of porcelain Bono masks, all with today's Groupon to Indy's Irish Festival.

Not valid with any other offers.

Groupon Says

Finnegans Wait, What?

Finnegans Wake is still on my to-read pile, right under that Bill & Ted DVD.

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Soar high above the forest floor like a monkey toting a Batman grapple-gun with today’s side deal: for $35, you get a guided zipline tour at Dagaz Acres Leadership Center and Zipline Adventure Course (a $65 value).

Helping participants de-stress while they embark on an exhilarating canopy-traversing adventure, Dagaz Acres provides a state-of-the-art zipline course that offers a bird’s-eye view of rugged wilderness. After stepping into a comfortable and secure body harness and receiving helpful instruction from the experienced and safety-minded staff, customers will zip along a zipline course that glides through twenty-three acres. Soak in stunning views while scanning the terrain for local wildlife and gaze into the striking valleys and ravines of southeastern Indiana. With today's side deal to Dagaz Acres, adventurers can experience nature in a memorable manner, before returning to civilization with newfound clearheadedness and forest cred.

Check out videos of the heart-pumping experience here.

Participants must be at least 8 years old and weigh at least 45 pounds.

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